11-1 tell tale signs that you are in deep sh*t

-Robin S. Joseph

1) When your report card/mark sheet is being handed to you and everybody is happy!
(P.S. if this were to happen to me i d probably have a heart attack)

the saying that you cant please everybody holds true for all activities performed by all
human beings in the universe

So in order to maintain the balance of the universe u must fulfill at least 1 of the following
criteria:
1) you must have a back in at least 1 subject
2) you should score unexpectedly low in ur favourite subject
3) you should have at least 1 qualified peson (parent/teacher) ready to criticize ur performance
(no matter how good) open heartedly

if none of these happen and all are happy well then that's just the universe's way of telling
you something has gone terribly wrong (translation :: u r either in or are soon goin to be in deep sh*t)


2) When you are extremely late for class n then u enter expecting a thunderstorm but ur teacher
just smiles at u.This can mean just two things.

1) you r his/her favourite student :)
2) havent you heard about the silence before the storm??? Most probably your teacher knows u
all too well.he/she knows that a little public humiliation is not going to make u mend your
ways and as such is saving up all of his/her energy and waiting 4 the right moment upon arrival
of which not even GOD will be in a condition to have mercy on ur slacking soul!


3) when u r sitting in the exam hall n ur question paper is handed to u, u look at it then
u stand up and announce to ur invigilator that u have been handed the wrong question paper bec u r a student
of the subject xyz and suddenly everybody starts lauging...:)))))))
this point is self explanatory.
(P.S. for those of u who still didn't get it here is a clue they r not laughing at the invigilator)


4) when u have u r xams tomorrow and like me u belive i n 1 night stands b4 xams either 1
of the following happens tonight:
1) india vs pakistan match goin on
2) FIFA world cup finals
3) your house gets flooded with rain water (true story)

we all know where this is going,so such circumstances leave u only options
--suddenly turn religious and try to bribe god with candles/coconuts
--start perparin a nice speech to be delivered at home on report card day
--pray like hell that when u wake up the next day u read in the news paper that during
the night ur exam centre was attacked by aliens n with their fancy flying saucers
n they teleported it back to their place :)
(like they say::nothing is impossible)


5) When u ask ur girlfriend wats wrong n she say "kuch nai"
this like all guys know can only mean 1 thing:
u r in deeeeeeeeeeeep ____ (fill in the blank)

the solution to this problem is a three step process:
1) u need to know wats wrong (fact:no guy is ever interested in finding out,,
,,reality:if u dont she will say u r inconsiderate)
this step usually takes an hour bec she will not give in easily(even though we all know
she wants to) and will torture u like rambo was tortured by the vietnamese in rambo part 1:first blood

2)once u know wat crime u committed in order to deserve all this
(well i guess you shouldnt have checked out that hot chick who just walked by
while ur girlfriend was sitting beside u. Well, even if u did, u shouldnt have been stupid
enough to get caught)
its time to make ammends:
my best advice::tell her u were just exercising ur neck muscles (say it like u mean it.
say it like ur life depends on it which most probably it does :))

3)wait while she finally decides to 4give u but like a true man use this time wisely
in analyzing ur mistakes and making a better plan so u arent caught next time :)



6) when u get kicked (where it hurts most) n u dont feel a thing!!!!!!
free Advice: sumthins gotta be wrong!!!! consult a doctor immediately


7) whenever ur girlfriend says anything that starts with "darling u know who i met the other day ....."
trust me anything that starts off with this line will lead u to nothing but trouble.


8) When u find out u copied the exam time table wrong right before u enter the exam hall

9) u read through this article just to make sure u arent in deep sh*t. (Well if this be the case
then let me waste no more time n tell u that most probably u r.))



10) if the above posted photo is of ur girlfriend then my man u r beyond deep sh*t
MAY GOD HAVE MERCY ON YOUR SOUL!!!
(nd they ask us y we are scared of marriage..sheesh)



until next time take care...

images courtesy:
http://www.funtoosh.com/f_images/whydid_papufail.jpg(1st image)
http://www.motifake.com/image/demotivational-poster/small/0810/hey-boys-doris-funny-madonna-old-skeleton-skull-demotivational-poster-1225124616.jpg