Top 10 reasons why men (that's us) are jerks

by Robin S. Joseph

1)We pretty much run the world(or we like to think we do) so we can afford to be jerks :)

2)Being a jerk is an efficient survival strategy:
let me tell u about the circumstances in which not only me but many boys like me grow up.
ours was a boys school a damn good 1 at that but growing up in an all boys school can be tough
specially if u are a soft kind of boy (if u know what i mean)
if u r of the above kind it means u r prime meat, u r practically a girl
n trust me 2000 boys who have not seen the sights of a girl in ages will go 4 anything
so ur only line of defense,your last hope of survival,is to become a jerk
because being a jerk in some way symbolizes ur manhood n helps u fit in.
tragic but true.

3)because we are practically brain dead when it comes to deciding what's cool.
dont believe me? Here are a few examples:
--we think smoking is cool (brain dead logic)
--we think drinking is cool (brain dead logic)
--we thought lindsay lohan and britney spears were cool(and both ended up in rehab)
--superman thought wearing his shiny red underwear over his elastic slax in public was cool
--batman thought running around the city at night in a shawl shooting people was cool
--a certain mr x thought getting kicked (u know where) and living to tell about it was cool
(okay maybe that was actually cool!!!!u rock mr. x)
--and as for tarzan well he didnt think at all but still most guys think he is cool

so all this being said is it any surprise that men think being a jerk is cool????


4)most men considered individually are pretty descent, it may be shocking,but its true.
it is male group behaviour that forces them to turn into jerks.
I ve seen even the nicest lil mama's boy go from innocent when alone to the devil personified
when in a group with his friends.

5)We think cursing 4 no reason is cooooooooooooooooooooool.(O Teri pehn di)
it is sumthin i think only guys will understand.
When two guys(who happen to be friends) meet after a long time the depth of their friendship
can be understood and calculated by the quality and quantity of curse words they use 4 each other
as per the followin formula:

depth_of_frndship = l*rf*curse_word

where;
l= level of the abuse inflicted by the curse word
rf= repitition factor(it denotes the no of times curse words are repeated)

so if two guys are meeting after a long time and 1 of them says :
"saala kutta sharam ata hai tereko bolte hue ki tu dost hai?"
it might actually be a compliment!

or if its something like:
" u #$#%#%^@$!$%!%@ !$#!%$%#$^%#^$&^&* #$%@%@$^#$^##^^...^%*^&*(%&^%^#%%#535????"
then u can clearly understand that they are long lost brothers

so if cursing makes us jerks then i have to say that we are proud of it.
(oh wait this could have been my next point)

6) We think beating the shit out of some poor defenseless being and then making him beg 4 mercy is cool so cool infact that some leave no opportunity to narrate such incidents of their so
called bravery and some think that it is soooooo sooooo coooooool that they even add it to
the SPECIAL SKILLS & EXTRA-CARRICULAR activities column in their job resumes!(true story)

7)Because we just love to make our girl friends cry.
dont believe me? just listen to "I LOVE TO SEE U CRY" by Enrique (man that s*it is messed up)
A dude i know is such an expert that he can make his girl friend cry just by lookin at her
a feat that the rest of us can only hope to achieve in our wildest dreams

8)Because when we say we respect women we ommit the part that says "as long as they do what i tell em to do"

9)Because we invented lame a** concepts like love n romance just so we could get laid :)

10)Because some extreme jerks write articles about why all of us are jerks and then think
they are cool for having written such articles


all comments/confessions on why we are jerks are most welcome feel free to share

image courtesy: http://rvl.zcache.com

12 things i hate abt girls

by Robin S. Joseph:

why 12 bec i dont wanna type more than 12
or else it could have easily been more than 12 billion





1) The way they alwayz form a separate line that is always shorter
at any public office get their work done in minutes as compared to ur
hours (except if its a lady at the counter i luv em :))

2) The way they can always fake that they have a period to get outta
sumthin like a P.E. test or sports day specially those horrifically fat ones
who would most probably cause tectonic movement if they ran

3) The way they can always almost convince u with their fake tears to
maybe even murder sum1

4) Their obsession with marriage (now if u r a guy like me u probably hv
enough experience in this matter all u need to do is buy her lunch and behold
that night itself u will recive the dreaded call or should i say discussion
of the contract of ur future life as a bonded slave :()

5) The way they ask "robin do i look fat???" and most guys like me who hv been
in this situation might have in all honesty wanted to say "YES god YES r ya blind u
lil pig???" but alas 4 fear of life all like me must ve said "god u look great"

6) The way they can never understand hw contraceptives work?
(i mean 4 the luv of god did ya sleep thru bio class in 10th????)

7) AND THIS 1 IS 4 ALL OF U GUYS:(u can thank me later)
the way they say "oh, hum toh kuch padhe hi nai hain mera ye chuta hua hai
mera woh chuta hua hai (liar) and after all melodrama guess who tops???her
i'd like 2 take names but i wont 4 fear of death i wont.

8) the way they always drive (if at all it can be called driving forgive me
guyz 4 my mistake) without helmets even on the india pakistan border and
still get away with it.

9) the way they say i want an understanding guy with a sense of humour
f**k that wat they really mean is that he should look great and spend loads
of money on me.

10) the way they deny most things and even if u convince them and even if they are
convinced that u r right they will still deny it (first they ll say no u r wrong n
i m right even when it isnt true n they a short while later deny having said
anything at all) i m sure this has happened to 1 and all.
and they say its u who has a big ego.

11) the way how EACH N EVERY girl irrespective has a brother who is either a bigger,
stronger,smarter or more good lookin then u r.
i remember this girl lets call her miss x
x fancied my biceps and asked me 4 measurements so as any guy would i gave em 2 her
at that very moment she said she has a brother who has biceps that follow the formula:

gIRLS SECRET FORMULA 4 calculation of bicep size:

my_brothers_biceps = robins_biceps+1+piss_off_factor;

where piss_off_factor depends on how big a liar she is!

So neway then i finally meet her hulk brother n he turns out to be one of those really skinny
kids with glasses n all.

n wat does the girl have to say u ask (look at point 10) deny the whole thing together
with fancy lines like:
"hum aisa kab bole" or "hum to aisa kuch kabhie bole hi nai" hallelujiah GHAJINI
i think all considered asin wuld have played ghajini better than amir did.

12) the way they force me to write articles such as these in the first place :))))


[NOTE: the points,issues and girls mentioned in my article bear no resamblance to
anything or anyone dead or alive ]

[P.S. no offense to the lady whose picture i borrowed i just thought it would go with the theme...:)]

image of the lady courtesy collegecandy.com and a big thanx to my dear friend Shashank
and my 2 followers Souvik n Mr. D for their support
--Robin